An Uncomfortable Car Ride

More than a decade ago I spent a summer working in the NorthWest Territories in Fort McPherson at a swimming pool. The pay was very good and the experience even better. I learned an enormous amount while there and have fond memories of my time there. But it's the car ride home that I remember the most.

Fort McPherson is quite far from the airport so my boss took me for a few hours drive before I flew back to big city life in Ontario.

I remember the drive very clearly, I can still see the dashboard, the feel of the gravel road, and my anger at my boss. You see, he took the time, while I was trapped in the car with him for hours, to explain to me how self-centred I was. How, whenever I was in a conversation, I had to talk about me. He explained in detail how I was too focused on me, how it showed, and what it did to those around me.

How dare he! How dare he say such horrible things to me! I was a nice, kind, good person. Hard-working and diligent. I was not any of those horrible things he said.

When he stopped at the airport I stomped off with as little contact with him as I could. I fumed the whole way home.

I've thought about that conversation for years. Torn it apart. Analyzed it. Shredded it. Rebuilt it. It has stuck with me constantly, not a month, or even a week goes by without me thinking about it.

You see. He was right.

I was, and still am, far too self-centred.

But, if he hadn't spoken up, and spoken clearly, directly, perhaps even brutally, I would never have woken up.

His words have opened up the world for me.

You see, up to that point I desperately wanted to get married, but every relationship fell through.

I wanted to find a job that was more than a job, but every one I tried just didn't work out.

I wanted to be a Dad, but that sort of required being married first.

I had some friends, but I was lonely.

I was a Christian, but it didn't really show much.


It wasn't until after that uncomfortable car ride that things changed.

I became a teacher, a job that requires you to focus on others. Which led me to my wife and any good marriage requires you to pay attention to your spouse. Which led to children, and you can't be self-centred and be a good Dad. I've got more friends and connections that I possibly have time for. My faith shows far more than it ever did.

Not that I'm perfect, I still struggle with this challenge every day. But when I do, I think of that uncomfortable car ride.

Thanks Terry. Thanks for being bold and saying what needed to be said. It has made all the difference.